It's tough getting laid off, but some employment experts say the managers and HR professionals who have to break the news to employees may very well have the toughest job of all. And with all the corporate downsizing happening these days, an increasing number of supervisors are grappling with these difficult conversations.

Some managerial skills improve with practice, but learning how to lay off employees is not one of them, said John Patricolo, vice president of professional services for the Great Lakes region of Right Management in Southfield.

As part of his job, Patricolo provides training to managers who are tasked with laying off employees. He helps them determine what to say, how to communicate the right message, and what to do with varying employee reactions. Over time, Patricolo has noticed that many of the managers take the training more than once. Invariably when he asks them why, the answer is always, "it just doesn't get any easier."

While there are factors such as employee reactions that you can't control, there are some things you can do to minimize the pain for yourself and the employee when you have to lay someone off. “Being well prepared is important,” he said. Here are some tips from Patricolo, along with Pam Crosset, executive coach and owner of The Right Reserves in Southfield:

• Keep it legal: It's probably common sense to most, but make sure that you have reviewed all the potential legal consequences of the layoff before talking to the employee, Patricolo said. For example, you'll want to have reviewed any Equal Employment Opportunity Commission considerations, including minority or gender status of the employee you are laying off. Before laying off an employee, consider consulting your legal department or an attorney to review the facts and any documentation associated with the layoff, he said.
• Develop the right attitude: Whether you're the one who's made the layoff decision or you're simply the messenger, remember that you are following through on a business decision, Patricolo said. Part of what makes the laying off process difficult for managers is that they can't see the impact of the decision on the employee's life several months down the road, said Crosset. “In many, many occasions, you might be doing them a favor because they would never leave a job that they hated except in this way,” she said. Oftentimes, people end up in better-paying, more fulfilling positions following a layoff. Six months from now, a laid-off employee may be flourishing, “and you unfortunately may never know,” Crosset said.
• Find a mentor: Especially if you are struggling with the prospect of laying someone off, find a manager who's been through the layoff process before and talk to them about their experiences, Crosset said. “Probably the most important thing is to find people who have been through this.”
• Practice: It's normal to have some anxiety about meeting with an employee you have to lay off the next day, “but the best thing to stop you from tossing and turning is to practice,” Patricolo said. “I'm a big believer in practicing it out loud.” You can practice in front of mirror, your spouse, or another person, but the important thing is to  verbalize what you plan to say to the employee once you're sitting in front of them in the conference room or wherever you have the discussion. “The words don't mean anything until you put a person in front of you.”
• Have a script, keep it brief: One of the best ways to prepare for a layoff conversation is to have a brief script, Patricolo said. “The script is your friend.” It helps keep the conversation on track – especially if you encounter a difficult-to-handle response from an employee, Patricolo said. The important thing is to keep the message brief. Saying too much or saying the wrong thing because you feel badly for the employee can land you and your company in legal hot water. “Less is more because it's an emotional situation,” he said. “The one thing you never say is 'I understand how you feel.'”
• Treat them with dignity: Getting laid off can be a humiliating event, so it's especially important for managers to look employees in the eye and fully acknowledge that hearing the news is difficult, Crosset said. And while you can't control an employee's reaction to the news, you can have a hand in how much pain he or she feels as a result. That's why it's a good idea to get clear on what message you want to convey and what you want to accomplish well in advance of that meeting.
• Provide resources: Chances are, most employees aren't going to retain everything you're telling them during a layoff conversation, Patricolo said. Have a packet of employee information available for them with benefits, needed contacts, and other written information to review later after they have had more time to digest the news.
• Manage the logistics: After the layoff conversation, are you going to allow the employee to go back to their desk and say goodbye to coworkers? Are you going to pack up their belongings for them and send boxes to their home address? Or are you going to allow them a set period of time for them to pack up the contents of their desk before they leave the premises? Make sure that you know how you're going to handle the post-conversation logistics, Patricolo said.

Written by Jenny Cromie, certified human resources specialist (CHRS)